YE OLDE SLOTH BEAR BRROGGG

SLOTH BEAR: The Softest In the Game

2011-12-14T21:49:00.001-08:00

Drake who?

On Newsstands now: SCANDAL!

2011-12-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

SLOTH BEAR: Tabloid Sensation

SLOTH BEAR/ After The Apple Collabo!

2011-11-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

Last March SLOTH BEAR was asked to grace the pages of Sydney-based bag designer Rachelle Dendle's line After The Apple's fall/winter lookbook. Her inspiration for the line was SLOTH, so naturally SLOTH BEAR, being the muse that he is, was a perfect fit! Here are some photos from the lookbook along with Rachelle's beautiful bags...

Hugging hay, SLOTH BEAR'S signature pose.

Meditative SLOTH, kickin' back and appreciating nature with the Sloth Hobo python Stowe

SlOTH BEAR destroying boats, as per usual with the Sloth Clutch in Tavern

Bohemian SLOTH taking it reeeeaaal easy alongside the Sloth Wallet Collection

Forrest frolicking SLOTH gazing towards the heavens and showing off his exquisite bone structure next to the Sloth Rucksack

Shipyard SLOTH with the Sloth "Handbag" in scarab. When asked what was going through his mind during this pose, he responded with " I'm king of the wooooooorrrrrllld".

Contemplative SLOTH lounging on a ledge with the Sloth Slouchy in Ito Monk

SLOTH BEAR cover model and epitome of sophistication.

My very own After The Apple handbag. It's beautiful, it has stunning details, and I'm plagued by envious looks on the daily. If you are someone who appreciates soft leather and well crafted, stylish accessories click HERE and feel as fancy as I do. SLOTH BEAR feels fancy and he made this video to demonstrate...

ALSO "Like" After The Apple on the FRRAAACEBOOOOK

The Time Sloth Bear Coached The Los Angeles Dodgers

2011-07-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

Historical Evidence

2011-07-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

Depictions of Sloth Bears found in Pacific Northwest native artwork.

SLOTH BEAR; Vacation Photos

2011-07-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Zero To Hero

2011-05-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

This misunderstood and mysterious bear has been studied for ages. Some were stuffed and examined at cub scout meetings.

Sloth Bears were kept in zoos to be stared and gawked at. The shame!

Things changed after a series of selfless heroic acts on the Bear's part. After, the Sloth Bear was hailed as an American treasure. Bravo.

Editorial

2011-05-20T12:18:00.000-07:00

Sloth Bear WILL NOT be upstaged by a simple brown bear.

Gorgeous, ethereal. So high fashion.

Sloth Bear: Style muse and exquisite beauty.

SLOTH BEAR: Ruining a perfectly good building

2011-05-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

DO NOT let a Sloth Bear into your car!!

2011-05-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

Sloth Bear and Matisse

2011-02-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

While searching through Sloth Bear archives I came across this photo of the Sloth with the french artist Henri Matisse. He is shown here with the artist in his studio in Nice, France 1954. Sloth Bear was a companion of his late in his life, and inspired such paper collage works as the below piece titled "Icarus Sloth".

Through extensive research I am finding that Sloth Bear was a muse to many artists throughout history. More of these findings coming soon.

Best,
Professor Von Slothheim

Vintage

2010-12-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

Mystic Sloth Bear Space Traveler or Gang Gang Dance Album Cover?

2010-08-28T00:18:00.000-07:00

Too close to call.

SLOTH BEAR: Not A Sailing Enthusiast

2010-08-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

BLAH-DOW!!!!!!

2010-08-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

SLOTH BEAR IS COMING TO EAT YOUR SOULS... in a nice way.

Sloth Bear Field Study

2010-08-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

My quest to learn more about this Sloth Bear lead me to the Angelino Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles. I was able to track his movements to this specific location, and discovered him living in a Victorian era home on Carroll Ave. Embarking on this journey, I hoped to catch a glimpse of the Sloth Bear's daily routine, and discover some unknown secrets about this elusive creature. When I caught up with him, I quietly watched as he was driving off, just starting his day. You can see here, he drives an older model BMW convertible. This is an understandable choice, since it conveys a certain sophistication, yet it's forgiving of his massive girth.

I followed him as he drove off to what appeared to be his neighborhood coffee shop, "Intelligentsia". I watched as he ordered his morning coffee. I was shocked to witness Sloth Bear's completely unfazed reaction as the barista berated him for asking if he could have a larger cup for his Americano. His unflappable calmness was awe inspiring. Also, it appears that Sloth Bear is doing quite well for himself financially, since he unflinchingly drops $6 on drip coffee.

Next, Sloth Bear raced off to the Echo Park farmers market. I was pleased to see Sloth Bear perusing the local organic vegetables. He appeared to be very concerned about where his food comes from, and conscious of what he puts into his body. Then, upon closer look, he wasn't actually buying food at all... he would pick up tomatoes only when an attractive woman walked by and would talk loudly about "sustainable living" when one was in earshot. Tricky. Sloth Bear was obviously using the farmers market as a way to attract a mate. He ultimately left with nothing, and I am suspecting that this bear has never once cooked a meal for himself.

I then followed him to what looked to be a photo shoot for a paper-towel print ad. I'm now coming to the conclusion that Sloth Bear makes his living as an in-demand hand model. This comes as no surprise since his hands and nails are over-sized and immaculate.

What I witnessed next was both fascinating and disturbing. I followed Sloth Bear to Clifton's Cafeteria in downtown Los Angeles. I can see why he favors this establishment, since it has a woodsy decor and an impressive selection of desert items. Sloth Bear wasted no time as he dove over the sneeze guard and began shoveling pie into his mouth. He did this while making sure no one was around to stop him. I have to says I was a little embarrassed by Sloth Bear's lack of etiquette and decorum. He had red berries smeared all over his fur. Filthy and appalling.

After Sloth Bear ran out of Clifton's, ashamed and without paying his bill, he sped over to the La Brea Tar Pits. Here he looked to be paying tribute to his fallen ancestors...as well as exonerating himself from the guilt of the pie gorging incident. Here I saw a vulnerable side of Sloth Bear. He wept as he lay tulips at the site where so many ground sloths lost their lives.

Once his conscious was cleared, he drove back to Silverlake and met up with a dinner date . It appeared that this was either a blind date or an Internet connection, since they didn't have much to say to each other and I don't think they actually spoke the same language. His date only made a series of slurping, spitting, and hissing sounds, which apparently was a turn-off for our bear since he spent most of the date checking his watch.

Sloth Bear got the check and was out of there before his date was done flicking her astonishingly long tongue at her steak . I followed him as he headed off towards Atwater village's Big Foot Lodge. While inside this forest lodge themed bar I watched as Sloth Bear drank too much, unsuccessfully hit on women, instigate a series of fights, and ultimately pass out at his table.

A waitress was kind enough to drive the heavily intoxicated, and at this point surly, bear home. He demanded they stop at Astro Family Diner for chili cheese fries, but unsurprisingly fell asleep before the food came. He also snored loudly at the table and drooled on himself. Today I have come to the educated conclusion that Sloth Bear is a foul and uncivilized animal.

SUMMERTIME CELEBRATION

2009-07-10T01:05:00.000-07:00

This is a depiction of what the Sloth Bear would look like if he happened to be filmed rolling around doing somersaults in a grassy field. Enjoy!

Tenderness

2009-07-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

If you are ever traveling to a cold or snowy location, it would behoove you to bring along a Sloth Bear friend.

THE SLOTHNESS MONSTER

2009-06-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

Sloth Bear IS NOT having it.

DOODLES OF THE DAY

2009-06-23T01:24:00.001-07:00

I used to have an office job. I'm a talking on the phone doodler, not sure who Damon is... probably the guy on the phone.

Stoner hippy guy.

Sloth Bear's uncle Carl crashes my birthday party!!!

2009-06-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is the infamous uncle Carl. Carl showed up uninvited to my birthday gathering and proceeded to drink too much and whisper inappropriate things in my ear. He must have thought Elana was half bear since he kept mistaking her for his wife. Guess Carl was too inebriated to realize she was just wearing a furry jacket!!!! Elana's boyfriend finally had enough of Carl's getting fresh with his lady and told that dingy bear where to go. Hey Uncle Carl, lay off the sauce and people might ACTUALLY INVITE you to their parties!!

Sloth Moves

2009-06-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is my first attempt to recreate through stop motion drawings, what the Sloth Bear would look like if he were to dance and flip around to a Black Flag song.

SLOTH BEARS FOUND TO HAVE PARTICIPATED IN THE GOLD RUSH OF 1849

2009-06-07T21:34:00.000-07:00

While researching the origins of Sloth Bear and his migration to North America, I discovered there was as strong Sloth Bear presence during the great gold rush of 1849. Photographs and documents prove that a family of Sloth-like prospectors lived in the Sacramento area of Northern California. Ezra Augustus Slothburger, Lotta Slothburger, and Hezekiah Grrrrruber were registered miners at the Golden Goldy Goldfields camp just east of the American River.
It is widely believed that Ezra Slothburger was quite successful in his prospecting. He was credited with both discovering the technique of "panning" for gold and was the first to use the phrase "THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS!!!!!"
Ezra's sister, Lotta Slothburger, went on to be one of the most famous mining camp entertainers. She would enchant the rugged men of the goldfields with her otherworldly voice, comedic acting, and naive charm. She wasn't much to look at, but boy could that sloth dance the soft shoe.

The Slothburger's cousin, Hezekiah Grrrruber, was know around the south fork of the American River as a shady character. The above photograph shows a greedy Grrrruber diving for a pan filled with gold nuggets, hoping that the members of his camp would be distracted by the flash of the camera. This was not the case, and Hezekiah was soon kicked out of the camp and left to fend for himself. Grrrruber didn't have much luck finding gold on his own, and ended up poor and eventually succumbing to cholera....or was it diphtheria, or was it typhoid fever... either way it was some kind of old timey pioneer disease.
Ezra Slothburger flourished during these times, but he was not without his rivals. Howard W. Rwrarrrrlings had it out for Ezra and even competed with him over the hand of Mary Frances Boone, who was of non-bear decedent. Ezra Slothburger was clearly WAY better looking and eventually went on to marry Ms. Boone. Mary Frances bore them one child, a son who is pictured below.
Apparently the Sloth Bear genes are so dominant that they negate all human influence.

SLOTH BEAR HYBRID MODELS ON THE COVER OF GOO MAGAZINE!

2009-05-31T11:21:00.001-07:00

SLOTH BEAR'S TRIP TO THE ALPS

2009-05-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

Da Babies Love Dem Sloths

2009-05-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

WOW! Babies look ridiculously cute with a Sloth on their belly. If you know a baby, or an adult baby who might appreciate this gentile yet savage look, hit me up on the Gmail!

DOODLES OF THE DAY

2009-05-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Sexy 90's Lady

Vampire

Sloth Bear went on vacation and met a couple of smokin' babes along the way!

2009-05-27T18:37:00.001-07:00

DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!!!

2009-05-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

This is the OG Sloth Bear sketch from back in the day. Ol' Sloth Buddy has put on a few lb's through the years, but that's how we like 'em. Tubby and fluffy.